but this came up few days back.
a guy, close but not close enough voice out and kinda complain don i have any friends?
seeing the fact that he was a understanding fren and these words came out of his mouth.
i think more than once.
hurts me.
its not like i wanna stay alone.
stay at his house.
be at my bf's side.
wat can i say?
i wasn't blessed?
that my friends don have much time like his?
that my friends don stay around the neighborhood like his?
that my friends don stay in walking distance like his?
that my friends have all the freedom they want like his and him?
and of coz,
how i wish, we were all back in high school.
how i wish, we could all meet up like everyday.
how i wish, we were all single back then.
how i wish, all of us are students.
how i wish and how i wish.
that Jas come back from aus.
that Ying don stay in Old Klang.
that Dear stay at her auntie's house in Taman Sea.
that Yun is single and not working.
that Hui don study at KTAR so she don't have to move to Wangsa Maju.
that Foon is single.
that Cia hasnt move to Bukit Bintang.
that cc pang didnt move to Cheras.
that i don have to or didnt move to sunway all alone.
that i didnt mess up the friendship with my ex back in coll. so there will be not rumors bout me. everything will still be fine.
i told myself, li her don cry when u're typing this.
and YES! i didnt!
because they are in the pillow.
i hide them in the pillow yesterday, yesterday x2, yesterday x3. =)
he is not anyone that great that can make me cry for 3 days straight.
but come to think of i miss them so.
once darling said gonna buy me a cat.
i will nv forget how happy i was and start imaging how it will be to have a cat in my room.
jumping up and down. climb here and there.
so i won't be bored. it can teman me.
knowing that after class or part time job, it will be there at the door, welcome me home. =)
haha. but i know we both wont able to afford one yet.
and was kinda sad after knowing that it will happen much later. ;p
but i understand dear. i do, and thank u.
i was suppose to look for room in ss20.
but i didnt.
i was suppose to go see the coll.
but i didnt.
i kinda lose my focus.
Lord what should i do?
i left 1 and a half month.
im going to China on the 28th i think.
mom called to ask me to go.
the first time, i cried.
because she still don get it.
the effect that should put in to be the better.
and the role as a mother. to my sisters at least and her so called beloved daughters.
and the words she use. it felt so bad! pain, angry, sad and cried.
thank God darling was there for me.
and i sms my sis to reject her.
she called again, few days back.
with a softer tone.
but the fact that the reason she wants me to go.
its not because she wants me to go.
or mayb she didnt wanna sound that way. :(
giving me reasons she cant get back the money for my seat.
and keep mentioning this the last chance for me to go overseas and have fun.
why can't i? i can pay for myself in future. i repeated it.
this time she kept silent.
i think its because if she knows if she use the hard way, like i will listen.
because to darling, that is not even a reason to begin with.
and i have to pay?
fine, if she thinks i cant do any thing without her.
but anyhow i agree on going.
and PRAY hard that the trip is for the better.
before i end here.
do enjoy this, chill a little after reading this very/kinda emo post ya. ;]
new song lists added in,
- Natalie Grant - The Real Me. a Christian pop song. love it!
- Sick Puppies - All The Same. this is NOT the first time i mention it in my blog. i heart it! even the Heng's. =) after asking and REQUESTING for it to be played in their house. very ma fan ppl. introducing good stuff don wanna listen ;p still thinking of doing the Free Hugs Campaign.
- Linkin Park - Shadow Of The Day. if im not wrong, the latest song from them. Not bad.
and last but not least,
my Rune Factory Friend Code is 3179-4328-8092 .
Thank you and Good night. =)
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